Alfred

This is not your typical shit list. Let me list the shitty things that happened so far since yesterday that are just piling up in my head:

• Last night, I tried trimming the cats claws. Needless to say, it did not go well.
• This morning I woke up to a pile of vomit at the doorway to the second bedroom. Cleaning that up was fun. My only guess is that all the rough-housing from last night f!@#ed with Chrissie’s stomach.
• There’s a slight stain in the carpet that probably won’t come out unless i steam clean it.
• I washed my windshield last night when I was filling up my tank. This morning there was something on the windshield that looked like a nut or something. I thought the wiper would just brush it off, but no, it was a weird bird turd and it smeered all over the windshield. Thanks.
• My marble-rye bagel was all deformed, but I picked it anyway.
• A co-worker bumped into me, and I spilled my hot chocolate while I was waiting for my bagel to toast. Awesome! We joked about it, and it’s not big deal, but still. It blew.

And the day’s not over yet….